Spiritual relationship help &
Building self esteem
Chicken Soup for the Soul cocreators Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen with Chris Karcher
ABC's Dr. Timothy Johnson,
Finding God in the Questions, and Chris
.
Lee Strobel, The Case for a Creator, and Chris Karcher
Spiritual relationship help &
Building self esteem
Spiritual relationship help &
Building self esteem
Self-love
Ask, “What am I being called to learn?”
When a tragedy occurred, psychoanalyst Carl Jung is reported to have said, “Let us open a bottle of wine. Something good will come of this.”[i]
Darkness comes before light. Pain is a signal something is out of balance and you have choices to make. By adapting a paradigm of finding the lesson, you transform problems into opportunities for learning and growth.
Many of life’s most important lessons are based in paradox. Common expressions teach us this.
· Some good comes from bad.
· A weakness can make us grow stronger.
· A painful experience can be a powerful teacher.
· The more we give, the more we receive.
· The line between joy and pain—and love and hate—is thin.
Scientific studies show plant growth is greater during stormy weather than sunny weather.[ii] The storms of life help people grow.
As we grow, we heal. Individual healing becomes world healing in aggregate. When you view problems as learning experiences, they become opportunities for growth—the bigger the problem, the greater the opportunity.
Aborigines in central Australia speak of “mysteries not yet revealed to mortal man,” explains Marlo Morgan, in Mutant Message Down Under. They believe you must “take the test to pass the test” and strive to “close the circle of each experience” leaving no “frayed ends.” If you “walk away with a bad feeling,” that experience will be repeated until you learn the lesson.[iii]
God will give you the grace you need to pass the test. The Apostle Paul said, “No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.”[iv]
If you break open the head of a flower about to reseed, you will find many seeds preparing to begin a new life. Many seeds will fall, but only a few will germinate into a flower.
We are continually given seeds for growth. Viewing problems as learning opportunities helps you detach emotionally. Troubles become opportunities for learning. Bruises heal into understanding and insight.
At age ninety-five J. C. Penney said, “My eyesight may be getting weaker, but my vision is increasing.”[v]
As an author, it is uncanny how often I experience a problem the same day I am writing about it. When writing about judgment, I might have a bout with judging. When writing about fear, I might experience anger that masks a fear. These are gifts, calling me to firsthand learning, to better prepare me for translating lessons into words.
We were created to be in relationship with one another. As we love, we will experience pain. Pain is a part of love. Suffering is a part of the human experience.
A healthy psyche does not make me immune to grief or feelings of rejection. It gives me the courage to ask, “What might I be doing to invite suffering? What is the lesson I am being called to learn?” Paul’s lesson was to learn how to keep his pride in check and rejoice in his need for grace.
When angry, hurt, or upset, I am free to ask . . . [vi]
· What am I being called to learn from the “thorn in my flesh”?
· Am I leaning unto my own understanding instead of trusting God?
· What is the purpose of my behavior or emotions?
· What is the payoff?
· What do I want that I am not getting?
· Am I so focused on getting what I want that I’m ignoring the other person’s needs?
· Am I trying to control circumstances instead of accepting reality?
· Am I being trained for a future not yet known to me?
You may reprint this article provided it includes the following paragraph, including contact information:
Copyright © 2003 by Christine N. Karcher. Chris Karcher is the author of Relationships of Grace, Amazing Things I Know About You, and Relationships of Grace Workbook. To order books and tapes, schedule Chris for speaking engagements, or subscribe to Chris’ newsletter, visit www.relationshipsofgrace.com, email order@relationshipsofgrace.com, or call 1-877-GET-GRACE (1-877-438-4722).
[i] As quoted in Louise Hay, Gratitude: A Way of Life (Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 1996), p 253.
[ii] Erin Kramp, Living with the End in Mind (New York, NY: Three Rivers Press, 1998), p. 154.
[iii] Marlo Morgan, Mutant Message Down Under (New York, NY: HarperPerennial, 1994), pp. 51 and 93.
[iv] 1 Corinthians 10:13 MSG.
[v] As quoted in Max Lucado, He Still Moves Stones (Word, 1993), p. 78.
[vi] A free set of worksheets in journal format is available for a limited time at www.RelationshipsOfGrace.com.